I’m feeling you dude. I use mine a few times a week. The anal orgasms are so mind blowing. I convulse a lot but when it gets my entire body head to toe convulsing, I’m shooting out some amazing hands free cum shots splattering everywhere. It took some working up to, but now I can have multiple orgasms for an hour before it wears me out.
Many straight men don't know that about half (40%) of their sexually receptive organs are inside. The vectors: Penis, Anal-Rectal, Testicles, and some other things. So, denying this like limiting yourself by about 45%. It's like cutting off half your cock. I have interesting conversations.
What I would give to have a boyfriend that in touch with his cock and masterbating, I could watch him doing that all day (as long as there was some leftover for me occasionally)